Written by Janet Helm, Realtor® and Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES®)
I first met Sarah at her neighbour’s open house. She had been living in her home for decades and, like many, was quietly considering a move. Her husband had passed away several years earlier, and she felt it was time to start making some proactive decisions about her future. I was there supporting the neighbour’s family—specifically their daughter, who was acting as a power of attorney and feeling overwhelmed by the logistics of helping her parents move. Things eventually worked out well for them, yet Sarah took notice. She shared with me that she didn’t want to wait for an emergency and be forced to sell, instead of choosing to sell on her own terms. That kind of situation—what I call a crisis move—often means decisions are rushed or made by others. In the end, you’re left second-guessing choices that may not be the best fit after all.
A few weeks later, I met Sarah at her home. She shared what she was looking for and had decided that an independent retirement residence was the right fit. She wanted a place where she could stay social, have space to paint, and travel without worrying about gardens, house maintenance, or security. Being able to walk to nearby shops and enjoy meals without cooking were also high on her must-have list. I answered her questions and introduced her to several retirement residences that suited her lifestyle and future needs. I also accompanied her on the tours—serving as a second set of ears and a sounding board along the way.
Sarah selected a residence close to her brother and his family. Her name was added to the waitlist. A few months later, a suite became available. Excited, we went to see it. But as soon as she stepped inside, she cried. “This is not the home for me,” she said. The suite felt dark, surrounded by too many trees for her liking. The layout didn’t feel right. This was going to be her last home—and she knew it had to feel just right.I reassured her- another suite would come available. And it did. A couple months later, we toured a different suite in the same residence. The moment Sarah walked in, she smiled. She walked to the window and exclaimed, “This is where I’ll put my easel!” The space was filled with natural light—ideal for painting. There was ample room to display her art. It felt like a home to her.
One of HELM’s trusted mover helped set everything up—her bed made, TV connected, phone working. When I visited Sarah shortly after her move, her easel was right where she imagined it. She was settled, happy, and most importantly—she had made the decision on her terms and her timeline. Was everything perfect? No. Adjustments, meeting new people, getting settled in a new home and community had challenges for sure. And what if she had waited to make the move? She might have found herself in a home that simply wasn’t right for her. Touring retirement residences isn’t just about checking boxes. It’s about discovering how a place feels—seeing yourself in the space, and understanding what truly fits before a decision becomes urgent.
For some of you, you probably have memories of your parents in dingy, sad “old folks’ homes.” You also may be thinking, “It’s too soon for that,” or “Those places are for old people.” And for many, a retirement residence may not be the right next step. Yet the real difference comes from knowing—because you’ve toured and explored your options, rather than just assuming—what truly feels right for you.
Take a couple I recently helped rightsize to a 55+ condo. We toured a retirement residence together, and afterward, they realized it was simply wasn’t right for them. Instead, they chose a condo close to a senior centre, within walking distance of shops, and nearer to their adult children. The day they selected their new home, they were smiling, excited to make design updates and truly make it their own. It was the right move, because they had explored their options.
Another couple I worked with was sure they wanted to move to a specific retirement residence. When I asked if they had toured it, they admitted they hadn’t. I encouraged them to visit—not just that one, yet others too. A few weeks later, I followed up. "Well, thank heavens we did," they said. "Because the one we thought we’d like... we didn’t. And we ended up choosing a completely different one!" Imagine if they waited until a crisis—they might have ended up choosing the wrong home!
Touring is more than a task. It’s a step toward peace of mind. Whether you're considering a move now or simply starting to gather information, giving yourself the opportunity to see, feel, and experience different environments allows you to make choices that reflect your values, needs, and timeline.
Part of HELM’s 55 and BETTER system, includes accompanying our clients on tours if they prefer. We also provide a list of questions to ask during the tour and a separate list to reflect on afterward. Would you like me to share these lists? Or perhaps you’d like to have the key contacts at a variety of residences to call to arrange a tour? Just ask!
