What’s the Cost of Waiting Until You Have To Move?

What if the biggest cost of waiting isn’t the cost of moving?

It’s losing the opportunity to choose how, when and where you move.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I’ve seen both sides of the story with clients.

One client wanted very much to stay in her current home.  She loved her home. It was familiar, comfortable and filled with memories. Like many seniors, she believed that when the time came that she needed more help, the support would be there for her. So she waited. She waited to ask for help. She waited to have the conversation with her family. She waited to explore what other options might look like. After a sudden health change- a fall, and hospital stay, her options became much more limited, and the opportunity to explore what she wanted next, on her own terms, was gone.

Her story stays with me because there was never a plan. There was no opportunity to decide what she wanted next, at her own pace. A crisis made the decisions for her.

And that is the part of planning ahead that I think we don't talk about enough. Aging in place can absolutely be the right choice. For many, aging in place is a wonderful and very realistic option. The important part is making sure you have a plan for how that will not might look as your needs will change. 

What happens when you need help with meals, housekeeping, medicine management, transportation or personal care? Who will provide that help? What if your mobility changes? What if you can no longer manage the stairs, or can physically deal with the yard or the maintenance? What if the support you were counting on from family isn't available in the way you imagined? Will you be able to hire help in? How will you vet them? 

These aren't questions meant to scare you. They are questions meant to give you choices.

And sometimes, the best choice may still be to stay exactly where you are, as my dad did until he peacefully passed at 100 years young. The difference is having support in place before you need it. Planning ahead gives you the opportunity to choose who you trust to help, understand your options and make decisions proactively rather than in a crisis.

Another client came to a different conclusion.

She decided it was time to move and wanted to be closer to her family, about an hour away from her current home. But she didn't wait until she had to move. She started exploring. Together we looked at retirement residences. We went on tours. She asked questions. She compared her options. Eventually, she chose a residence she really liked.

Then a suite became available. And she changed her mind. It wasn't right for her. So I encouraged her to wait. Not because the opportunity wasn't good, but because she wasn't in a crisis. She had the luxury of saying, "This isn't the one." And eventually, the right one became available a couple of months later.  She loved the suite! She knew exactly where she wanted to put her easel so she could paint. She knew she would hang art/  She wasn't simply moving out of her old home. She was creating her next home. And she did it on her terms, on her timeline and with the ability to make choices.

So, what is the real cost of waiting?

We often think about the financial cost of a move. There are moving expenses, renovations, storage, professional services and the cost of setting up somewhere new. But there can be other costs too. The cost of choice. When you plan ahead, you have more opportunity to choose where you live, what you take with you and what your next chapter looks like.

The cost of time. A planned move gives you time to sort through a lifetime of belongings without having to make hundreds of decisions in a matter of days.

The cost of energy.  Moving is physically and emotionally demanding. Doing it because you have to, while dealing with a health crisis or hospitalization, can make an already difficult situation much harder.

The cost to family. When there is no plan, adult children or other family members may suddenly find themselves making decisions on your behalf. They may be trying to figure out your home, your belongings and your next living arrangement while also worrying about you.

The cost of fewer options. Retirement residences and other housing options may have waitlists, availability issues or specific requirements. Exploring them before you need them gives you a better understanding of what is actually available. As many of you know I’m happy to connect you with key contacts and also happy to tour with you!

And perhaps the greatest cost: The cost of having the decision made for you.

Planning doesn't mean you have to move.

This is something I wish more people understood. Planning ahead isn't saying, "I'm moving."

It's saying: "I want to understand my options." You can explore retirement residences without committing to one.

You can visit communities. You can find out what they cost. You can talk to your family about what support might look like. You can look at your home and ask whether it can realistically support you for the next five, ten or fifteen years. You can decide, after doing all of that, "I'm staying right here." And that's okay. Because now it is a decision. Not a reaction.

A few questions worth asking yourself

If you are hoping to remain in your home, ask:

What would need to be true for me to stay here safely and comfortably?

Who would help me if I needed more support?

What would happen if that person wasn't available?

Have I explored any alternatives, just so I know what is out there?

Would my current home still work if my mobility changed?

Have I shared with my family about what I want?

And perhaps the most important question:

If I eventually I do want or need to move, how would I want that move to happen?

You don't need to have all the answers. You just need to start the conversation. Because the goal isn't necessarily to move sooner. The goal is to have more choice later.

That's what my second client had. And sadly, that's what my other client didn't have the opportunity to experience.

If you or your family are beginning to wonder what the next chapter might look like, I'm always happy to have a conversation.  You just need to start exploring your options before you need them.