The Stories We Keep and the Gifts We Can Give Now

Written by Janet Helm, Realtor, and Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES®)

In my work as a Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES®), I often see families faced with difficult decisions during a crisis move. A fall, a sudden illness, or an unexpected change in care needs can force quick decisions about a home and everything inside it. In those moments, people are overwhelmed. What should have been meaningful conversations about treasured belongings often turns into rushed sorting, donation piles, and unfortunately, items being thrown away.

That is why I encourage older adults and their families to start gifting items now, while there is time, clarity, and the ability to share the stories behind them.

Decluttering is not just about “getting rid of stuff.” It is about deciding what matters, what still serves you, and what could become meaningful to someone else today rather than becoming a burden for someone to sort through later.

I recently experienced this personally with my own family.

My dad decided he had far too many salt and pepper shakers. Over the years, he and my mom had collected so many sets.  One of my sisters took the time to carefully lay them all out, photograph them, and send the photos to the family asking if anyone would like a set. I chose a tiny pair of white milk glass shakers.

When I went to my dad’s home to pick them up, I walked in to see all the pairs lined up neatly across the table, each one beside the name of a child or grandchild who had chosen them.

It stopped me in my tracks.

Suddenly, those little salt and pepper shakers were no longer just objects. They carried memories of family dinners, laughter around the table, simple meals my mom made with love, and decades of shared moments together.

What struck me most was how joyful the process felt. Everyone chose something meaningful to them. There were conversations, memories, and stories attached to every piece. These items have very little monetary value. Yet to they ended up being priceless because of the memories attached to them. The value is not in the object itself. The value is in what it represents. Everyone chose something meaningful to them. There were conversations, memories, and stories attached to every piece.

I thought about how different that would have been during a crisis move. Too often, when decisions are left until the very end, family members are exhausted and emotional. People may disagree about what should happen to certain belongings. Often possessions are donated or discarded because there simply is not enough time. The sentimental items are often the ones that matter most.

That is why now is the perfect time to start. Open the drawer you have not touched in years. Look at the dishes you no longer use. The tea service from special occasions. The entertaining platters that once held holiday meals. The small decorative items that quietly hold family history, perhaps art on the walls. 

Then ask the people in your life: “Would you like this?”

You may be surprised by the answer.

I certainly was with the salt and pepper shakers.

What may seem ordinary to you may hold deep meaning for someone else because it represents home, comfort, tradition, or memories of being loved.

Decluttering does not have to be cold or clinical. It can be thoughtful. It can be relational. It can become an opportunity to pass along stories, memories, and connection while you are still here to enjoy the conversations that come with it.

And in many ways, that may be the greatest gift of all.